tired...

another day is gone....the feeling get worst....never become good....
i think i can write b4, but now..i juz can do nthg...feel  damn suck....
what i expect for ? i really dont have the answer...its just feel like m life is mess up by my past....
people around me never know what is on my mind and i never gonna tell them ....
sometimes it feels like i'm not alive i just a puppet, but i feel i'm alive when i cried....
i just totally feel lost...
without her i'm just nthg....i cant even smile or laugh with my true heart...
i'm really feel damn tired... i'm tired of act like nthg is happend on me...
i need a hand..a hand can hold....a hand make make me feel calm...
"love is like a war..
easy to start hard to end...
imposible to forget...
so dont love anyone"
people always say i'm so "kou hua hua" but its just the way i pretend i fine..
guess what? people always trust their eyes but they also cheat by their eyes too....
its complicated right? no one have the answer...
i'm been thinking so long ....why  i wrote this?
maybe just becouse i think only "speak" with pc is more safety for me...and i belive no people will view this blog....if they did, i hope they will understant me...i'm not the guy they think they know .....
i'm just a lost cat....
sometimes my friend ask me...why u put your name as nite cat?
you dont even go out at night....
the answer is: i  online at nite and i prefer cat's lifestyle  even i hate them so much...they so ego , so proud,
so charm....so conflict right?
i think that is life would be...
thats why i called myself nite cat....i hate myself....i hate that i cant do batter...i hate i hurt people heart...and i hate why i love her...i juz cant forget about her even just a secound after 3 years....so many days so many night so many years...even i hv a relationship with other girl...i still cant forget about her....
i'm so tired...tired to pretend i just fine anymore.....i'm tired to memorise the memory we been through even we just friend...i want to say goodbye..but it never happend....so i write it down here...
goodbye....